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Computers are cool

It’s Friday afternoon 6:30pm, and on a piss stained seat on a bustling locamotive sits a young boy. His feet swing slowly back and forth as he peruses a newspaper. His innocent and youthful eyes flit over the articles of the paper until he finds something that catches his interest. His vibrant blue saucers widen with horror as he locks onto a frightening article. It reads –

“Gaming’s autism link.”

Shocked, the boy reads on.

“Obsessive computer game playing has been linked to a rare form of autism.”

The young boy snaps out of his shock and puts on his skeptical hat and examines the article more closely.

Ok, so as you have guessed the young boy is me. I wasn’t really shocked and awed when I saw the article but I was angry. As I read on it was apparent that the news paper had obviously either blown a study out of proportion or reported on a scientific study that is flawed. The article goes on –

“Doctors say hours spent on your console could give you the same negative character traits associated with Asperger’s syndrome.”

Right, so first the article says that gaming is linked to a rare form of autism now its referencing “doctors” who say that it can cause character traits similar to Asperger’s syndrome. Firstly, just because something is like something doesn’t mean it is that same thing. A cold is caused by a virus, but when you get a cold you don’t say, “Hory shit mang! I got a minor case of the AIDs!”. No, you don’t. That would be silly.

The kicker of the article was that it stated that –

“according to Dr John Charlton…In total, 3 per cent of those questioned (out of 400 gamers) during the study had signs of being addicted to game playing.”

3 per cent. Wow. So basically this study detected noise and if it did detect anything it detected that video game playing is very very mildly addictive to some people…like pretty much everything else. (Smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex etc.).

It is obvious that it was a slow news day in the MX news room on Friday so they had to fabricate a story that would seem scary in order to shock the mindless masses coming home from work at the end of the week.

This is exactly what we need (SARCASM DETECTOR ACTIVATED!). Not only do vaccinations seem to cause autism, now our beloved video games cause it to! RUN FOR THE HILLS! Heres hoping that this little gem flies under the radar and isn’t picked up by the autism/vaccination proponents who seem to latch onto any little thing that comes their way.

So basically what I want to say is, Go die in a fire MX news paper. They know their target market and they continue to push brain dead anti-science at them.

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4 Comments

  1. Ah Elliot, still original I see with the suggestive introduction to the story.

    I could see from about 10 lightyears away where it was heading, but now to the actual discussion.

    According to science everything can either mentally retard you or cause you some kind of cancer of the ass.

    It’s no wonder they try to place some kind of illnesses on people that play games and for what reason I do not know but I do know one thing, your definition of cozy is way off sir.

    That is all for now.

  2. Sleep like a dove in a cradle suckling a cows tit while spooning a lamb…

    Thats pretty cozy…who’s with me?

    • anonymous
    • Posted April 7, 2008 at 10:56 pm
    • Permalink

    Haha..reading this blog made me laugh. Who in their right minds would believe that computer game playing has been linked to a rare form of autism? Anyone who believes this is out of their minds. I’m with you here Skelliot, the MX news paper has got it all wrong and I hope young readers don’t believe this!

  3. Ah, the MX. Such a wonderful resource for people with nothing to do when on Melbourne’s public transport. I’m not at all surprised that they’d publish a story like this.


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  1. […] real shame; you can’t use four-color-glossy to blot your fish and chips, unlike a newspaper. “Oh Noes meh brenz iz meltinz!!111one” sez er, says Skelliot as he reads a stray copy of the MX newspaper blowing by. And no wonder, […]

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